The Saga of the New Saw Before I get to the point of this story I’ll just give an explanation for what you are about to read. There is an old saying that says, “The better the tool, the better the job!”  OK!, maybe there is no such saying but I believe that there should be…… Anyone who uses Triton tables, router or saw, soon finds out that the quality of the finished job is not necessarily assured by the table brand.  If you don’t have the correspondingly quality tool to attach to the table your work is never going to reach your expectations but still some people tend to blame the table rather than the tool.  As I have a limited work area available to me I decided, when the time finally arrived, that I would buy a Triton compact saw table. So, off I went to a Toolies trade night and managed to get one at a slightly reduced price.  After getting it home, unpacking and assembling the aforesaid item I coupled it with an old Black & Decker 71/4” circular saw.  Now over the years this saw had supplied sterling service but unfortunately it was just a little too battered to impart any sort of accuracy to the cuts even after I spent hours attempting to tune the combination so I decided to bite the bullet and buy a new saw.  Here is where made a typical rookie mistake by buying on price rather than on quality/reputation.  I went out and bought a 71/4” **** circular saw and promptly married it to the table. ….. Do you think that I could tune the table even then?  No chance!!!!!  About then I decided that the table was the problem and believe me I was a very unhappy little camper. I carried out the instructions in the manual a number of times but there was no way that I could get it to cut even remotely straight.  To cut a long story short, I eventually took the entire device in its current configuration along to the weekly Triton club meeting (This was when the club met at the Awaba Scout Hall) I requested that our club President run his vastly experienced eye over the setup & was greeted with a pontifical snort when he saw the saw that I was using. (actually the first thing he said, with a maniacal sneer was… “What happened, did you wash your table & it shrunk?” I treated this statement with a load of ignore and with tears in my eyes I pleaded for help.  So, after two hours of unscrewing, screwing, tightening, loosening and a brilliant display of verbal gymnastics of what could only be an oriental language because even after spending many years in the military I couldn’t understand half of them. TGO then raised his noble head and declared haughtily, “The @#$%^*& saw is your problem!” Well duh!  I was about to ask what could be done about it when TGO did his Pontius Pilate impersonation by washing his hands of the project, stating firmly,  “Get a decent saw that has a stiff frame & we’ll talk about you problem again, in the meantime I’m going to cut some wood with a table that works!” and with a flick of his luxurious mane stalked off. I took this to mean that this would be a therapeutic means of releasing tension so I grabbed a stray piece of pine and sliced it to two pieces, one of 88.6o and the other of an angle that probably doesn’t exist in the real world. Into the boot of the car went the table and with a heavy heart I made the long journey home.  Over the next few weeks every coin and note that wound up in my pocket went into my piggy bank (actually it’s a sheep but that’s another story.) until the day finally came when I made a number of calls to get the best price possible and once again made the trip to Toolies.  And there I was, a proud owner of a bright orange new Triton power saw.  Well, as you will understand, I rushed home and unceremoniously ripped out the **** and replaced it with the BIG orange unit.  “Ok” I thought, “How long is this going to take to tune?”  Well, as it happened, it took about half an hour and then I put some pieces of pine to the sword………errrrr..saw and what do you know, the cuts were as perfect as I had any reason to expect.  My wife still doesn’t understand the relationship between a man and his new straight cutting saw.  I think that it was when she caught me fondling the complete orange unit with a simpering grin on my face that doubt first crept into her mind.  She had noticed similar deviant behaviour when I bought home my Brand spanking new Triton router so one would think that she would be used to it by now…Not a bit of it, so when I bought my finger jointer and biscuit jointer I attempted (reasonably successfully I think) to keep the events low key.   Extension Frame next….Pucker up baby!  ………..Anyway, getting back to the reason I am writing this.  Would anyone out there like to buy a slightly used **** power saw at a very sensible price?  Not recommended for use in a saw table, otherwise a fine saw.  Peter J Beckwith  *	TGO = The Great One. *	****   = Skil
I was just going through a couple of the old Triton Club Magazines and I thought that maybe I should resurrect this story of the type of problems that can beset a dedicated wood worker.  This is from the year 2002s May/June Newsletter.
Ok,   let’s   talk   seriously   about   mitres.   What   are   mitres   I   hear   you   ask!...............   well,   in   a   religious   sense   they   are   the   dinky   little   hats   worn   by the   upper   echelon   of   the   major   uniform   wearing   religions.      That   is   said   with   apologies   to   the   Salvos   who   have   the   good   grace   to   wear   a   uniform   that wasn’t   designed   by   Michaelangelo   during   the   renaissance.      If   you   look   at   the   picture   provided   then   the   woodworkers   who   are   reading   this   will,   no doubt,   nod   his/her   respective   head,   jump   to   his/her   feet   and   cry   “Eureka”.      Why   she/he   would   do   that   I   have   no   idea   but   you   have   to   admit   that the titfa has all of the angles that makes the woodworking mitre the wondrous thing that it is! A   woodworking   mitre   is   an   inherently   simple   thing.      it   is   simply   a   joint   that   is   made   between   two   pieces   of   wood   where   the   meeting   sections are   angled.      Now   stay   with   me   here   because   this   is   where   it   starts   to   get   a   little   complicated.   In   the   perfect   world   of   mathematics,   a   90 o    angle   that   is halved   will   leave   you   with   2   X   45 o    angles,   correct?   ..............   ergo,   (love   that   word)   four   pieces   of   wood   with   the   ends   cut   at   45 o when   joined   will make   a   square   box   shape.....Y/N?   HA!....not   when   I   cut   the   bloody   timber   it   doesn’t.............   it   is   at   this   point   that   we   enter   a   surreal   world   where the   laws   of   physics   do   not   apply.      In   this   cosy   little   world   my   mitre   box   was   made   by   Picasso   who   was   obviously   under   the   influence   of hallucinogenic   drugs   at   the   time,   the   timber   that   I   am   cutting   is   made   of   (very   expensive)   silly   putty   that   oozes   out   of   shape   the   minute   that   it   is   cut and   it   takes   fourteen   pieces   of   (usually   very   expensive)   wood   to   get   four   corners   approaching   the   correct   angle.   Into   this   equation   we   also   need   to factor in vast quantities of wood filler at this stage of the project. There   is   no   doubt   that   geometry   has   some   serious   flaws   in   this   rarely   visited   world,   for   example:   4   X   45 o should   equal 180 o    Y/N?      In   my   universe   the   answer   comes   out   at   approximately   185 o     or   174 o or   even   3,244.1 o or   any   other   number   that the   ever   vigilant   gods   of   mischief   and   mayhem   decree.      The   alert   readers   among   you   will   notice   the   fact   I   have   used   the term   ‘approximately’   when   describing   my   mathematical   attempts   in   the   previous   sentence.      I   realise   that   this   term   should never   be   used   when   dealing   with   the   rather   exact   science   of   mathematics   but   it   is   a   part   of   system   in   the   crazy   world   of mitre joints. It   is   at   this   point   that   I   must   appeal   to   the   reader,      Will   someone,   anyone,   out   there   initiate   me   into   the   secret   society that   controls   the   arcane   art   of   accurate   mitre   cutting...Please!      I   know   that   there   has   to   be   such   a   society   because   of   the refusal   of   so   many   people   to   discuss   this   matter   in   polite   society.      Having   passed   on   my   plea   to   all   and   sundry   I   must then   issue   this   warning........   The   next   person   who   casually   drops   the   phrase   ...   “Just   mitre   the   joints   and   whack ‘em   together   for   a   perfect   fit” ...   will   find   a   bomb   in   his/her   undies.      Keep   in   mind   that   is   is   simple   to   make   a   bomb, plans are on the internet and the ingredients are in the kitchen according to many films that I have seen.   Mitres however, are far far more mysterious. Sorry about this little outburst.... I think that I’ll have a Bex, a cup of tea and a lie down now!  Bye!
The Arcane Art of Mitre Cutting
Hairsbreath:		Smallest possible measurement.  If you can find it, you can use it. - Approximately 1 millionth of a micro millimetre.  Foofteenth:		Much bigger than.  25 micro Millimetre  Gnatshair:		15 Foofteenths  Gnatsdick:		Not an exact measurement. Usually between 10 and 20 Gnatshairs. (This of course is entirely dependent on how well hung the Ganat is.  Beesdick:		The most commonly used fine measurement.  (Usually bigger than a Gnatsdick but not always.)  Fairy’s Fart:		All encompassing measurement - covers all sizes below 5mm  Metrik:			1 millimetre (mm)  Smidgen:			Sometimes refered to as a smidge - 7.35mm but 7mm is close enough  Tad:				1.3 Centimetres (13mm)  Touch:			2 Tads  A Bit:			3 smidgens.  Sometimes erroneously called a “tiny” bit.  Frowned on in most sheds and some garages.  A Little Bit:		15 smidgens or thereabouts.  Heaps:			AKA,  “Lots” = 10 tads + 1 smidgen + a metrik.  Stacks:			AKA, “Lots More”, = 5 heaps  Bags:			AKA, a bagful = 350 tads.  Bulls Roar:		734 Metres or almost exactly 1000 smidgens or thereabouts.  Klick:			1 Kilometre  Country Mile:		3218 Klicks  Thick as a Brick:	A brickies measurement that should never be used in woodworking.  Thick as 2  short planks:		984cm from beam to beam and as dumb as chalk.  Beam:			Hunk of wood too long and too cumbersome for one person to handle alone  	  Understanding Fine and Coarse Measurements  (Shamelessly stolen from the pages of “A Polisher’s Handbook” by Neil Ellis)
Contact Us